An Alien Encounter
by Y2Jen
Summary: Triple H is positive he saw an alien one night and aims to proove it.


Previously on The WWE.  
  
"Sorry Hunter, I can't let you drive home after 10 beers, you have to take the breath-a-lizer." Kurt Angle said to Triple H.  
  
"That's ok, I'll walk." He walked out of the beer tavern, drunk and walked off, forgetting his way home. He screamed at a sign that said DIE, and then he saw it said DIET and screamed even louder. Finally, he ran deep into the woods and fell on his face, tired. He looks up to see a green glow, which is coming from an alien. (standard X Files music)  
  
"Don't be afraid." It said, but the WWE champion screamed and found his way home.  
  
That morning he found himself in the kitchen for breakfast.  
  
"Dad, I don't believe in aliens, usually people who see them are dumb losers with pathetic low pay jobs..oh, and you, dad." Chyna explained.  
  
"Oh yea, well when I woke up I was covered in a strange clear goo." Triple H said.  
  
"More sausage and bacon Hunter?" Stephanie asked her husband, he began to drool.  
  
"Oh son, I hope you don't see your old man as a loony." Triple H sighed.  
  
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I believe you." Chris replied.  
  
"You do? Then you know what, I'm gonna prove it to everyone. We're gonna go back to that place and get the proof we need." Triple said as they turned on the TV.  
  
"But what if he's a no show?" Chris points out.  
  
"Well, then we'll fake it and sell it to UPN or TNN." Triple H grinned.  
  
"Yea, they'll buy anything." Chris nodded, trying to hold a strait face.  
  
"Now son, they do have some good quality programming." Triple H joked. They laughed and got ready to go to the place deep in the forest.  
  
Now.. After a while, nothing happens and Arcanine wonders if he's at the right place.  
  
"Hey dad, can I have a drink?" Chris asks tempted. "I'll drink it like Stone Cold."  
  
"Now son, beer is for daddies and kids with fake id's. Besides, it's such a great night, how 'bout a ghost story." Triple H suggests as he gets a water bottle.  
  
"And that's how much college will cost for Chyna." Chris says scarily into a flashlight.  
  
"No, no, no!!!" Triple H screams into the night.  
  
"You know what dad, I don't care that we didn't see the alien, I really had a good time." Chris says roasting a hot dog and marshmallow on the campfire flame.  
  
"Yea, me too." Triple H says, blowing on his. Suddenly, the glow comes and the music can be heard. "It's him!" Hunter gasps and points to its source. Chris's jaw drops.  
  
"I bring you peace." It says, Triple H is less afraid by its smile.  
  
"As a represenitive of the planet Earth, let me be the first to say." He starts, but notices he's spilt his water. "Yaaaaaa, oh no, no!" He runs out runs around in circles. The alien runs off, afraid. "Do'h, we lost him, and we still don't have any proof."  
  
"Oh yes we do, I got it all on tape." Chris held up a camcorder reading property of DDP.  
  
"Good work son, we did it, we did it!" Triple H cheered as they danced about. The moon seems to smile down proudly on them as they rejoice over their achievement.  
  
The next day, after it premiers on the news, everyone wants to talk to Triple H.  
  
"I'm happy to answer any question you have about the alien, any at all." He says.  
  
"Is the alien Santa Clause? What? I said, is it Santa?" Stone Cold asks in a drunk voice.  
  
"Uh, yes." Triple H grins, wanting to make him a fool with this advantage.  
  
"Will he bring me a present? What? I said a present." Austin goes on.  
  
"No." Hunter replies quickly.  
  
"Uh, were you on my roof last night, stealing my weather vein?" DDP cuts in.  
  
"This interview is over." Triple H slams the door. "Here, you can have this stupid thing back anyway." He grumbles as the weather vein falls off his roof.  
  
The next night, everyone and his uncle is at the spot, even Spock, who occasionally likes to sit back, relax with a beer and watch the WWE family.  
  
"Lenard Nemoy?! What are you doing here?" Chris cries as he gets a hot dog.  
  
"Wherever there's something weird going on, like this, I'll be there." Spock replies.  
  
"Hey look at this Chyna," Triple H says at shirt stand. "You don't see any Hunter is a dope shirts." He holds up a 'Hunter was right' shirt proudly.  
  
"We sold out of those in five minutes." The shop owner said.  
  
"Oh, how could you." Hunter groaned when he saw his wife wearing one.  
  
"But pink is my color, and look at the fine stitching on dope." Steph remarks. But before Hunter can comment, the glow and music begin and everyone turns and gasps.  
  
"Look, there it is." Triple H pointed as everyone stared at it in shock.  
  
"Oh honey, oh, I'm so sorry I doubted you." Stephanie whispers.  
  
"I bring you love." The alien said.  
  
"Uh, is that the love between a man and a woman, or the love for a wrestler with good looks and stuff?" DDP asks with his usual grin. "Cause that's not a bad thing.."  
  
"Uh...I bring you love." The alien says again, cutting Page off.  
  
"It's brining love, don't let it get away!" Farooq yells.  
  
"Break its legs!" Bradshaw adds. The crowd rushes over to the alien, it cowered in fear.  
  
"Wait!" Chyna ran over. "You want and alien, this is your alien!" She shone a flashlight on it to reveal the alien was Billy Gun.  
  
"Hello everyone, I bring you love." He said.  
  
"Ah, it's a monster! Kill it, kill it!" Chavo Guererro cried, raising a judo stick.  
  
"It's not a monster, it's Billy!" Chuck ran in the way.  
  
"Aw it's Billy, kill it, kill it!" Chavo repeated to the restless riot ready crowd.  
  
"No wait, you don't understand so let me explain." Chuck calmed. "Every Friday night, Rico has to help Billy stay good looking because of his DX days." He leered at Triple H. "First, we have to give him medicine, painkillers. Then, a chiropractor readjusts his bones for figure. Finally, a plastic surgeon applies all the needed fashionable make-ups and things. The whole thing leaves him twisted and disoriented." Chuck finished explaining.  
  
"Well, what's with the glow?" Chris finally asked.  
  
"I'll fill that one." Billy said back to normal. "Years of being with DX and all the parties left me with a green glow. Well, but, now that I'm here, I don't bring you peace and love, I bring you title matches, challenges..."  
  
"Time for a booster." Rico comes up and the shot calms Billy down.  
  
"Well, it looks like my work here is done." Spock says.  
  
"But you didn't do anything. What? I said nothing, nada!" Stone Cold counters.  
  
"Didn't I?" Spock laughs and disappears like he dose on Star Treck. So, now everything is back to normal. There's no alien, everyone is happy.  
  
The parts you may have missed..  
  
"Ok Triple H, we left a case about drug dealing in New York to talk to you about your alien encounter." Skully said.  
  
"Yea, I highly doubt the FBI is considered with matters like that." Mulder agreed.  
  
"I want you to look at this line of aliens to tell me the one you saw." Skully points. Triple H looks in the room to see aliens from different television shows.  
  
"Yo." Alf waves.  
  
"No, I'm sorry." Triple H sighs. The aliens growl and leave, mad.  
  
"Oh, this makes me very angry." Martin said, holding a stick of dynamite.  
  
"Ok, now we'll run you through a simple lie detector and ask you some yes and no questions about this event. Do you understand?" Skully asked.  
  
"Yes." Triple H said and the machine beeped loudly and then blew up. Next, Mulder hit Triple H with a hammer and he did nothing. After a long time, even though it didn't hurt, Hunter was bored so he said, "Ow."  
  
"Ok, now we'll have you retrace your steps the day you met the alien." Skully said as they went to the bar. "What did you do here?"  
  
"Well, the boys and I were playing a good game of poker," Triple H started, classily.  
  
"Hunter, it's a felony to lie to the FBI." Mulder replied.  
  
"We were in here eating packets of honey, there, happy." Triple H groaned, embarrassed. Soon he got drunk. "So I said red m 'n m, blue m 'n m, they all wind up the same color in the end."  
  
"So, where you guys from." Kurt Angle asked.  
  
"Agents Mulder and Skully, FBI." Mulder said in the voice he always says that line in.  
  
"FBI hu, uh, just a minute." Kurt went into the back room where some others were wetting Shamoo. "Alright, they're on to us, get him back to Sea World!"  
  
"You are so fine, if I weren't married, I'd be with you like that!" Triple H yelled and spilled a beer. "Ok I'm so sorry, please don't tell my wife or family, oh god I love them, and.hey, a penny." Hunter flops to the floor, nearly passing out from drunkenness.  
  
"Let's go to the spot now." Skully said, getting impatient.  
  
"And here's the spot where the alien came at me." Triple H pointed, the bushes rustled and the agents gasp in shock and pull out their guns, ready to shoot just in case.  
  
"Oh boy am I glad I found you, I got lost getting the morning paper a week ago!" Vince jumped out. "Then a fox stole it and started to tear it up. There he is!" Vince pointed as the fox friskily jumped out and ran off with Vince on his tail. "Tallyho!"  
  
"No time for you old man!" Triple H waved him off.  
  
"This is the worst case we've ever had." Skully moaned.  
  
"Worse than the time we got attacked by that flesh eating alien?" Mulder asked.  
  
"No, this is much more irritating." Skully said, watching the old man and the fox.  
  
"Ok, we'll go, but someday someone will prove that we aren't alone in this universe." Mulder began, Skully rolled her eyes. "I know that someone, somewhere, is watching us and studying us, ready to strike. And someday, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday someone will make it clear. We'll solve the mysteries of, unsolved mysteries. The truth is out there!" When he ended his long speech, Angle and the others were carrying the whale by, trying to get him to the airport for the plane to San Diego.  
  
"Aw geese, it's the feds!" The Olympic champ cried as they continued. But to be honest, Mulder had no idea what was going on. He just watched them running off into the night.  
  
Is the truth really out there? I'm Lenard Nemoy (no, not really, I can't back that up), good night..  
  
"Uh Spock we still have a page left." The narrator guy says.  
  
Oh, well, let me just go get, um, something. from in my car.  
  
"I don't think he's coming back." The narrator guy concludes after my car is heard speeding off.  
  
The End.? (the X-Files music plays until everything blacks out) 


End file.
